Well, f**k.

One of the last bubbles of recovery has burst: I'm back on fasting forums.

I'm Back!

I went to residential.

Healing and measurable progress took place.

I got out.

I discovered that my house of cards was no more.

I relapsed almost immediately.

Still, I am immensely grateful for the opportunity I got and for the healing that did take place while I was there. I have only me to blame for my relapse... me, and my insurance for not letting me stay longer. I know if I could go back for longer, I'd get a sustainable period of remission.

I am in complete remission from bulimia, which is something I wanted really, really badly. But I still have an ED. When I got out, I followed my meal plan for two days, and then I stopped being able to eat at all. At Timberline Knolls, my weight was maintained perfectly. I weighed the exact same 166 when I got out as I did when I came in. They really know what they're doing there; my meal plan was perfectly calibrated. However, in the six days since discharge, I've lost five pounds.

So. We now return to your regularly scheduled eating disorder. And your regularly scheduled alcoholism, we return to that too.