It Begins

I live in Chicago, and have for thirty-two days. Over the course of this time, my new roommates have determined:

1) I am an alcoholic.
2) I am unreliable.
3) I have no cause whatsoever to be so stubborn, irrational, and irresponsible about food, and should just take their advice, eat healthy, and get the f*** over myself.
[3.1) And in order to prove that it is no use reasoning with me over food, and that I actually have an eating disorder rather than an annoying case of hysteric narcissism, I must quit food cold turkey, IMMEDIATELY.]